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Postin' Again

Not a whole lot to say today, but I need to at least post something.

Going to look at a possible new location for B&B later today.

Ordering wigs and shoes. Gonna look into a torso piece and a blouse soon. Feeling good today.

Journal Entry

This is my journal entry for Wednesday, April 13th, 2011.


I am going to endeavor to use this journal as just that: a journal. A place to put my thoughts, regardless of who sees them. I have been told on several occasions by several different people that I do not communicate well. This is probably due to the fact that my thoughts race around my head so quickly that it is difficult for me to catch them and put them into words. I feel that perhaps writing my thoughts down here will allow me to more easily convey them to others, either through their reading if this journal or through the fact that I will have already put words into my brain that correspond to the things I am thinking. That being said, here goes nothing.


Last night, as I was trying to run an ethernet cable in my apartment, I knocked over a set of shelves. A bookcase that does not hold books. The items set upon these shelves were Amber's deco materials. Everything from larges amounts of caulk to tiny Swarovski crystals fell to the ground. This was completely on accident, but nonetheless, I felt terrible about it. One or two things broke, but the amount of work that it will take to put things aright, work that can only be done by her because I simply would be in the way if I tried to help, is just astounding. It will probably take the better part of a month to get everything back in its place.

The reason the shelves fell is because, instead of removing things from the shelves and placing them on a nearby table for a moment, I tried to move the entire bookcase all at once. I do not know why I did this. I didn't have a good reason for this. I just didn't think before I acted. This is something that I have always had trouble with, leaping before I look. I'm not sure what to do when it comes to attempting to fix this problem. It's easy to say "stop and think about what you're about to do before you do it." But often things are easier said than done. Especially when one's own mind moves faster than one can even explain. Usually, I'm thinking so many things at once that it all becomes a blur. A kind of white noise in my head. I often have music on or a song in my head because it's easier to focus on that than my own thoughts.

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Holy Crap! I'm NOT Dead!

Let's see... The last time I updated my live journal was the night I fucked up my leg in hockey back in November. So it's been about half a year. Eesh. Let's see... What's new?


WELL


  • I got fired from that day job I had, but fuck them. That job sucked. I'll miss the paychecks, though.

  • I bought Battle & Brew, the best bar ever!

  • I finally got a new phone after three or four years. Hurray texting with an actual keyboard.

  • I'm getting into kink a lot more than I thought I would. It's good times.



I think that's it. Hopefully I'll get back into lolita. I seem to have fallen out of that, but with a little effort, we'll see.

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Fucking ow.

Had another hockey game tonight. We lost 6-2, I think. I missed the end of the game because I fucked up my right leg and now it hurts like a motherfucker from the knee down. Fucking ow, indeed.

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Woooooo!

We won our last 5v5 hockey game of the season! 6-6 and then we won the shootout! I got an assist and a penalty. I got called for tripping, even then I didn't trip the guy at all. It was a bad call, but I can understand why it was made. I also had a really good play where my center had the puck, and I just skated right up to the goalie and screened the crap out of him. He couldn't see the puck at all, and just as he was about to push me out of the way, the puck went sailing into the net. It was amazing! I was also awarded Most Improved Player, and received a cool Thrashers jersey. Today was really fun. :D

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Unsuriosity

I suppose if my posting schedule is going to remain as infrequent as it is, it would be in appropriate to say at the beginning of the post that it'd been a while since the previous post. I'd like to say that I plan to update more frequently in the future, but really I can't promise that. As it is, I'll do the best I can to update on a more regular schedule for the two people that read this.

On to the post.

As I sit in the Mellow Mushroom that I eat lunch at most days, waiting on my slice of pizza, I wonder just how it is that I am going to remain creative in my new, more restrictive lifestyle. Not that my new job really creates a restriction on the creativity, but with such little free time, I feel as if there is no time in the day to be creative anymore. I have maybe three hours each evening that I can spend as I please, and all I ever feel like doing is sitting down and relaxing with a video game, tv show, or book. There is no creation process that I really have the motivation for during the week, simply because I'm too tired to attempt anything.

And on the weekends, I feel like I'm playing catch-up on the previous week. In between tennis matches, hockey games, and sleep, I feel as though all I can do is rest or else I'll be too tired for the week ahead.

Part of the problem, I think, is that I'm not committed to anything creative right now. No bands, podcasts, or websites that I'm a part of. Nothing to direct any energy towards. And the funny thing is, now that I can actually finance these things (one of the benefits of my newfound employment), I'm no longer participating in anything.

I was speaking with bunnyko and miscy recently about wanting to purchase either some burando or some faburikku so that I could have a jisk or a one piece. However, when I was browsing EGL last night, I just felt absolutely no connection to it. I understand that being A) male, and 2) not a teenager, I in a very, very small minority in the gothic lolita community, but I just can't help but feel like I need to just quit while I'm not even a real part of the group. As I type this, I hear Miscy's voice in my head saying "Just do what you want. Those bitches can lick my taint." A decent mantra, except that I'm never sure just what it is that I want.

Internet Personality Quiz Time

Because I haven't gotten off my ass and actually made the effort to do a real post in some time, I give you this filler material. Think of it as the shitty Naruto episodes that came in between Sasuke leaving and Shippuden starting.

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Why Do We Sleep?

It's a catchy phrase: You snooze, you lose. But cutting out those 40 winks would be a bad idea. All mammals sleep, and if they're deprived of shut-eye they die--faster than if they're denied food. But no one really knows why.
Obviously, sleep rests the body. But watching TV does that, too. The answer must lie in the noggin. One leading theory says that while we're awake, a substance builds up in the brain (or gets depleted) and sleep removes (or replenishes) it. That makes sense. For part of the night, the brain idles in an energy-conserving state called slow-wave sleep. Freed from the duties of consciousness, it can focus on cleanup.
The problem with this idea is that another portion of each night, about a quarter, is given to REM sleep, during which the brain is anything but idle. REM stand for rapid eye movement, and it corresponds with vivid dreams, suggesting that it plays a role in consolidating memories. But there's probably more to it: Though antidepressants suppress REM sleep, patients taking them suffer no memory impairment.
In any case, it's clear that pillow time serves a critical purpose. Bad things--like some 100,000 traffic accidents a year, not to mention uncounted instances of calling your spouse by your ex's name happen when we don't get enough z's. At some point, someone's going to have to dream up a reason.

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An Evening In The Sun

Just got back from the Mohegan Sun Casino where I was the designated driver/chaperon for my sister's bachelorette party. Had a pretty good time. Came out $30 ahead. Pretty tired now. Gonna go crash. Hurray money!

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Role Swapping

I've recently come into the realization that, while I enjoy his comedic works (barring those that involve John C. Riley), my favorite Will Ferrell movie is "Stranger Than Fiction." What is it about seeing comedic actors excel in dramatic roles that makes the emotion of the piece hit that much harder?

But, then, there's something to be said about actors that are normally perceived as dramatic actors in comedic movies. Such as Robert Downey, Jr. in "Tropic Thunder."

Either way, good stuff.