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I suppose if my posting schedule is going to remain as infrequent as it is, it would be in appropriate to say at the beginning of the post that it'd been a while since the previous post. I'd like to say that I plan to update more frequently in the future, but really I can't promise that. As it is, I'll do the best I can to update on a more regular schedule for the two people that read this.

On to the post.

As I sit in the Mellow Mushroom that I eat lunch at most days, waiting on my slice of pizza, I wonder just how it is that I am going to remain creative in my new, more restrictive lifestyle. Not that my new job really creates a restriction on the creativity, but with such little free time, I feel as if there is no time in the day to be creative anymore. I have maybe three hours each evening that I can spend as I please, and all I ever feel like doing is sitting down and relaxing with a video game, tv show, or book. There is no creation process that I really have the motivation for during the week, simply because I'm too tired to attempt anything.

And on the weekends, I feel like I'm playing catch-up on the previous week. In between tennis matches, hockey games, and sleep, I feel as though all I can do is rest or else I'll be too tired for the week ahead.

Part of the problem, I think, is that I'm not committed to anything creative right now. No bands, podcasts, or websites that I'm a part of. Nothing to direct any energy towards. And the funny thing is, now that I can actually finance these things (one of the benefits of my newfound employment), I'm no longer participating in anything.

I was speaking with bunnyko and miscy recently about wanting to purchase either some burando or some faburikku so that I could have a jisk or a one piece. However, when I was browsing EGL last night, I just felt absolutely no connection to it. I understand that being A) male, and 2) not a teenager, I in a very, very small minority in the gothic lolita community, but I just can't help but feel like I need to just quit while I'm not even a real part of the group. As I type this, I hear Miscy's voice in my head saying "Just do what you want. Those bitches can lick my taint." A decent mantra, except that I'm never sure just what it is that I want.


( 3 comments — Say Something )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 2nd, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
I'm REALLY glad that I ran into you the other night. I've always enjoyed hanging out with you--you're so funny and witty and just an all around cool guy. I hope we can stay in touch and get together in the near future.

Much love for Greg <3 <3 I am going to use my amazing dancing Aquaman icon, just for you :D
Dec. 11th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
Nothing wrong with being a brolita, I know I enjoy it. As far as not wearing brand ,. if some size 6 person wants to point me to the big and tall shop at BtSSB than I'll got and spend money. Otherwise handmade or offbrand is the way to go.

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